i hate it when flies fucking rub their stupid little shitty hands together like they’re plotting to ruin my life those tiny little bastards
i love car rides so much that i actually get disappointed when we reach our destination
mother: is it a boy or a girl?
doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor
this shirt would fit if it weren’t for boobs: a tragedy
that shirt would fit if i had boobs: the sequel
this shirt fits perfectly because my boobs are the right size: the fanfiction
my shirts always fit: a man’s tale
what shirt: a nudist au
what does html stand for?
hypertext markup language
no i mean like, what does it believe in?